Game of Thrones Review “The Mountain and The Viper” S4E8

WOW, Okay, so… there will be SPOILERS here. There’s simply no way to talk about the episode without discussing the Mountain in the room.

One week off of Game of Thrones and I was a sad panda; I can’t even begin to think of how much this off-season is going to suck. “Mockingbird” set up what feels like a pivotal change amongst the varying characters. There is so much going on, it is hard to keep track at times. Given the name of the episode, we could only assume that this is where the big showdown happens; Oberyn Martell fighting for Tyrion Lannister’s freedom while The Mountain, Sir Gregor Cleagane, champions Cersei. While the rest of the episode doesn’t hold a candle to the fight, there so much going on here. In fact, the scenes at King’s Landing only take up maybe 10-15 minutes of the episode. Game of Thrones reminds me of a game of Skee-ball horse racing, playing all tables at once, trying to progress all the stories without letting any single story line get too far ahead.

This episode will forever be marked with a severe lack of foresight. All across the board, we come face to face with situations that could have been avoided with a little planning and a lot less pride.

You would think that with the Wildling army raiding and slaughtering nearby villages, maybe you should get your friend with no benefits out of there, Sam! He feels awful and he should. He stuck her in a gross whorehouse just so he wouldn’t the inconvenience of needing to let love in. The fact is that Gilly is not safe anywhere, and with the Wildling army encroaching, things don’t look too good for Castle Black and the Night’s Watch. They look so doomed to me at this point that I’m not really even interested in their outcome. Sorry, crows.

Daenerys has been the Breaker of Chains for quite some time, but there is one more set of shackles to be removed – the removal of Jorah Mormont from the friend-zone.  After selling out his Khaleesi to King Robert Baratheon to gain a pardon, he continued to stick by her side. But he also continued to spy on the Mother of Dragons for quite some time, which is confusing to me because there’s really no motive to do both, when he has the option to do either. In any case, the break-up between Jorah and his bestie is hard to watch. For almost four full seasons, Jorah has been her rock. Maybe this is just a sign that she doesn’t need the training wheels anymore. Or, more likely, it will mean that her reign will become even more unstable. It will be good to see them away from each other; Daenerys because Jorah was holding her back, and Jorah because he hasn’t really done much as a character in the series, regardless of his intriguing past. I could have done without the pathetic confession of love at the end though; being threatened to have your head thrown in Slaver’s Bay is not a cue to for romantic gestures.

Quick note: Last time Jorah received a royal pardon, it was accompanied by an attempted murder on the Mother of Dragons. Following the council meeting where Tywin agreed Daenerys needed to be taken out, it isn’t a stretch to think that there will be a follow-up to that – maybe resulting in the death of one of her dragons, or her newly-acquired boy toy, Daario.

Of all the failed romps this season, one romance that I do like unfolding is the one between Grey Worm and Missandei. It is probably the most organic in the entire show. Seeing Grey Worm grow as a person and as a commander is proof to me that Daenerys’ system works. It also means to me pretty plainly that one of them will die. Romance never lasts in Game of Thrones, even for people without genitalia. While it lasts, though, I look forward to seeing this relationship blossom, and for both characters to continue growing and learning from one another.

In other awkward parts of the world, The Hound and his traveling companion, (can you say traveling comedy show???) Arya Stark, finally make it to the Eryie, just in time to hear that Lady Lysa had died. Hound has a fittingly hilarious reaction, which is none at all, while Arya laughs heartily right in his face. It’s just so cool the way her character has developed. She chides The Hound for being too proud to use whatever means to kill somebody. This little girl, with her Needle, is giving murder critiques to the freaking Hound. It’s so amusing. Less amusing is the foreshadowing of that pesky neckwound, which is beginning to fester. I really hope that a gross bite-mark doesn’t ruin the best buddy cop duo in the realm.

Dude, my aunt is dead! LOL
Dude, my aunt is dead! LOL

There’s another tag team to watch out for, and they are just as dangerous. Peter Baelish and Sansa Stark have some explaining to do. Just a few days in, and he’s put his dirty ass shoes all over the Eryie’s couch. After pushing Liza down the Moon Door – seriously, worst house guest ever – he tries to lie his way out of the situation, but finds himself unable to convince the elites in the region. It takes the tears of Sansa, who finally unloads about just how shitty life has been for her, to save his skin with her lies. The tables have finally turned, and Sansa is able to manipulate others for a change. Could she be learning from Littlefinger the same way Arya has taken to The Hound, or is she being played again? I, for one, think the duo could work a two-man con game that would make American Hustle blush. I’m still a long way from liking her as a character, but I like the fact that she finally got the courage to give a little crap back to the world that’s thrown so much at her. At the end she emerges in a gorgeous dress, looking more and more like the creepy little clone of her dead mother that Baelish wants her to be. What’s up with the black hair? Well, it could be to mask her identity as a red-headed Tully, giving her away as Sansa Stark. Perhaps once she has won back the North (presumably), she will reveal herself as Lady Stark.

photo 2

Now to the main event, the reason you showed up early and bought expensive Ye Old Popped Corn – Viper vs Mountain! The outcome of this fight may mean the death of Tyrion Lannister. The scene where Tyrion and Jaime talk about their childhood is so humanizing and peaceful that you can’t help but smell the foreshadowing death in the air. The two genuinely love each other and joke about their slow cousin, who always wanted to smash beetles. Tyrion’s fixation with the smashing, and Jaime’s confusion at the fixation is a strong statement that Tyrion is a Lannister only in name.

Peter Dinklage was awesome in Days of Future Past as Bolliver Trask, but Tyrion Lannister is a role that only Dinklage could pull off. His presence, jokes and charisma have transcended the show itself, turning him into Game of Thrones‘ very own Daryl Dixon. His character may be coming to terms with death, but there’s no way they would let his character die, no matter the circumstance he finds himself in. We hope.

What about Oberyn? Surely he deserves some credit for winning 90% of the fight. Not really. His death made me even angrier than Robb Stark’s because I feel Oberyn had so much left to do. And not only was he exotic in the bedroom, he brought something entirely new to the show in terms of fighting style, something that I could watch for hours. In the end, his sad stubbornness cost him his life… and his face. Dear sweet baby Jesus…

It took me twenty minutes to realize what the outcome of the fight even means. When The Mountain punched out Oberyn’s teeth like he was holding a mouthful of Skittles, I was caught staring at a train-wreck. The remainder of the savagery was, hands-down, the most barbaric thing I have seen in my life, and I need to take some time to evaluate whether or not I’m okay with that. No matter how grossed out you were, you have to admit that this episode pushed the boundaries of television even further. The bar is set even higher now, and it will be up to some other show to take it even further.

photo 5

Now that Oberyn has had a head-on collision with Fuck Mountain, what is to happen next? Will Oberyn’s wife be allowed to return to Dorn? It’s not like you can keep that secret safe by killing her, but there’s no way this happens without Dorn flooding King’s Landing with a sea of rage. Fuck the King!

Who won the Game of Thrones this episode?

There’s a new bastard of the North in town, and his name is Ramsay Bolton. This twisted little shit is now heir to the North. Lord Mufasa Bolton takes Ramsay to the hilltops and explains how vast the North really is, and that one day it all be his – even the elephant graveyard! Ever since he captured Theon, cut off his manhood and shipped it to his family, I’ve never really been a fan of his. He stripped Theon of humanity and turned him into some weird pet. Over the past few episodes, though, Ramsay has become more affectionate towards Reek, rewarding Reek whenever he does something obedient. Perhaps the creepiest thing is that Reek loves Ramsay now, and although petrified of him, is willing to do tricks for his master with even the longest leash. By no means is this a relationship to model with your loved ones, but I can’t help but find it endearing in some sick way. Ramsay uses Reek to impersonate his former glory as Theon Greyjoy, and convince a weak stronghold to surrender without consequence. Then we get to see why the Bolton banner is a flayed man on a cross. It’s kind of their thing. Ramsay explains to Reek, “Traditions are important. Where are we without our history?” Ramsay is then removed his title of Snow and awarded the legacy of being a full-fledged Bolton. As frightening as it is to imagine Ramsay as the heir to the North, his success has been heavily tied to Reek and what he carries. Could Reek grow to become more like Varys? Or is he really just a tool of Ramsay’s hand?

photo 2

All media credited to HBO

Game of Thrones Review “Mockingbird” S4E7

Game of Thrones: “Mockingbird” Review

After one of the best performances I’ve ever seen in Game of Thrones, where Peter Dinklage’s Tyrion Lannister shot down any hope of a Lannister family reunion. Cersei’s mockery of a trial enraged Tyrion to the point that he refused Tywin’s offer to join the Night’s Watch, which played right into Cersei’s plan to have him murdered when he called for a trial by combat. This past week, the Hush team had a passionate debate as to whom the trial would feature and tonight we found out who would square off.

post-42379-The-Kingslayer-Brothers-tshirt-2nlQ

This season just keeps getting better and better, and the impending feeling that things as we’ve known them throughout the series will change immensely: Tyrion has completely severed ties with his family and put Jaime in a tough spot, Arya has grown into a killer thanks to her extended road trip with The Hound, Daenerys seems to be over-reaching and is unable to keep the territory she has seized, and Castle Black looks to be in for a doozy when the Wildling army comes to their doorstep – oh, and then there is the whole issue of the White Walkers approaching. There doesn’t appear to be one front-runner for the throne; something has to give somewhere.

Tyrion just can’t admit when he’s defeated, which makes for some damn good television. Tyrion is most entertaining and cunning when backed into a corner, but there aren’t too many people left to lean on. As habitual sister-raper and one-handed King’s Guard, Jamie Lannister, tries to remedy the situation, it’s evident that he doesn’t see Tywin for the monster he is. “You could kill a king, lose your hand, fuck your own sister; you’ll always be the Golden son.” It’s a believable relationship and adds to the heart-breaking fact that the King Slayer Bros. are breaking up the band. Tyrion is running out of choices for a champion, and when Cersei picks The Mountain as her champion and buys Bronn out, Tyrion is left in the cold. Bronn’s abandonment is not just unsurprising, but completely justifiable. Their break-up is even sadder than the one he had with Podrick, and it signifies Tyrion’s goodbye to the world he knows at King’s Landing.

The Mountain, played by Hafthor Bjornsson, is a 6'9" and 420 lb strongman competitor
The Mountain, played by Hafthor Bjornsson, is a 6’9″ and 420 lb Icelandic strongman competitor

Arya and The Hound have formed such an odd relationship. Arya let the cat out of the bag last episode when she mentioned that The Hound was a name on her list of people to murder, but they continue to help and protect each other while it is convenient. I’m not sure if there has been a symbiotic relationship formed between the two, but it seems they are both rubbing off on each other. Arya is becoming more ruthless, sticking Needle into the heart of one of her former captures with little second thought – as long as she knew his name before she did the deed. She has a code that’s stronger than Hound’s, which will come in handy when she uses that coin to call upon Jaqen H’ghar (valar morghulis). I thought it was a little weird the way The Hound opened up to Arya about being alone in the world, but I understood the point that the show was making. It’s also worth pointing out that an untreated wound is never good in Westeros – just ask Khal Drogo.

960

Speaking of, Daenerys is having a hell of a time keeping everything under control. She has become a fully realized ruler, complete with slaughter without prejudice. She finally gives in to Daario, and even General Friendzone, Jorah Mormont, can’t get in the way of their fling. Jorah is trying to open Khaleesi up to the fact that enemies live in a grey area, not all are evil beings. The mantra “They can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one” is repeated. I love the fire with which Daenerys rules, but she is becoming arrogant, and not even her sexy dress can keep her from annoying me this week.

GOT407_091913_HS_DSC54751

This is one of the most involved episodes of the season, showing almost everybody’s story to some extent, inching the season toward a clashing finale. Brienne and Podrick get a lead on where to find the Stark girls. Podrick still keeps Tyrion in his heart, as evidenced by his rate of alcohol consumption. Their trip to the Eyre can’t be a safe one, as they found a solution much too quickly. There is some more interaction with Stannis Baratheon’s women, as well, but not much happens. Their story has become the least interesting in the show to me, but I know this will play into war with the White Walkers somewhere – perhaps they will be able to save the Wall, where thousands of Wildlings will soon be descending upon Castle Black, similar to how Tywin ruined his invasion of King’s Landing.

Oberyn Martell emerged in Tyrion’s cell, telling him a story about how much Cersei hated Tyrion for his disfigurement and the death of their mother during childbirth. It’s an incredibly hurtful story, even bringing Tyrion to tears. Martell sees that Tyrion has really only been a Lannister in name, and tells Tyrion that Oberyn will his champion in the trial by combat, exacting revenge on The Mountain.

 

 

Who won the game of thrones this episode?

tumblr_n5sxhjdwKs1ruwssto7_250
Deuces

You thought we forgot about Peter Baelish? Never. This man is just too damn crafty to leave out. Littlefinger and Sansa have arrived at the Erye, which is one of the strongest holds in Westeros thanks to its narrow Black Gates. While he is obviously using Lysa Arryn for his title, things are not all right in this twisted family. Sansa is adjusting to a safe life (maybe not that safe, but way better than being Joffrey’s rape-toy if Baelish wouldn’t have whisked her away) in the Eyre, and even feels comfortable enough to bitch-slap Lysa’s son, Robert, when he ruins her snow castle. I don’t know if it’s the contrast of the snow or if it was a cool filter, but the shots of Sansa in the courtyard are beautiful. Littlefinger is most dangerous because he can make people believe that his scheming is what they actually wanted to happen. He will have Sansa under his little finger so quickly, she won’t know what happened. And it starts with making the crazy lady fly. Now the sneaky lord has his own kingdom, complete with a miniature Catelyn Tully at his side.

got407_092613_hs_dsc61841

Hush Comics gives “Mockingbird” a A- for the all-inclusive and very progressive story, which seems to be driving our well-established character roles right off a cliff. The relationships can get a bit awkward at times, specifically Arya and the Hound, and Sansa and Baelish, but there is just so much bubbling up that it’s bound to pop soon. The ability to tackle so many different progressions and still tie them back into the big picture is a feat not many shows can pull off. There’s a week hiatus of Game of Thrones next week; take a vacation, go outside and enjoy the weather. We’ll be in Houston for ComicPalooza next week, but keep an eye out for our updates on the con and watch us back here in two weeks for “The Mountain and The Viper,” which will be the showdown of The Mountain and Oberyn Martell GoT has been building up to all season.

All media credited to HBO

 

 

 

Game of Thrones Review “Oathkeeper” S4E4

One more Sunday, and one more episode of Game of Thrones. “Oathkeeper” is a prime example of GoT”s ability to tell several stories at once, and not add confusion, even with a large ensemble cast. “Oathkeeper” begins the same place that “Breaker of Chains” left off. The Mother of Dragons is continuing her quest to free all of the slaves in the Seven Kingdoms. By this point, she really has seem to found the winning formula. In no time, Meereen belongs to her army, which is swelling in size. It’s a sequence that feels a lot like the last season of Spartacus, but without the Romans. Well, karma is a bitch, and her name is Daenerys Targaryen. The graphic scene at in the season opener has really come back to screw the Meereen people when her army nails them all to planks. The woman who once had the gentle heart now firmly “answers injustice with justice.” It’s great character development and I can’t see why she won’t keep progressing as a serious threat to the throne. I’m also really liking the rise of Grey Worm. He’s struggling to find what is left of his humanity, but has enough depth to make viewers root for him. I couldn’t help but cheer when I saw Khaleesi raise the Targaryen banner over the city walls.

kill the masters

Back at King’s Landing, Tyrion is still in deep doo-doo. Dismissing both Podrick and Shae, as well as not being allowed visitation from Bronn, he has only one true ally in the realm – Sir Rapes-a-Lot, Jamie Lannister. Jamie is often criticized for coming to the defense of his pitiful brother, and pretty much started the war with Ned Stark when he thought he had taken Tyrion captive. However, being guilted into killing Tyrion by his crazy sister/lover has really driven a wedge in the relationship. That’s where the much-appreciated harsh honesty of Bronn comes in handy. Bronn validates Jamie’s instinct that Tyrion could not have murdered Joffrey. This is when I went nuts. Tyrion is no fool; he knows that Joffrey (and presumably Tommen) is Jamie’s child. Now that I think of it, Tywin might know, too. When discussing what makes a good king with Tommen, he referred to Robert Baratheon by name and not “your father.” Tyrion also understands that Cersei will not rest until both he and Sansa are dead. She’s totally losing it and I think we’re getting a glimpse of the Mad Queen in the making. Also, there’s big money out there for the person who creates a Kingslayer Bros. t-shirt.

bronn

Further validating that the awkward scene with Cersei was unnecessary, it looks like Jamie has really turned over a new leaf with his life. Or maybe, the relationship between he and Brienne has helped him see through the manipulation of his family. After Cersei’s order to track Sansa down and murder her leaves a bitter taste in Jamie’s mouth, he does perhaps the only noble thing he’s done in the entire series thus far. He gives the Valyrian steel sword forged from Robb Stark’s broadsword to Brienne as a reminder of the bond they made to return the Stark daughters to safety. Brienne also receives a squire for her trip – a familiar one at that! In a genuine show of appreciation, Brienne tells Jamie that she has decided to name the sword “Oathkeeper.”

skull juice

The Night’s Watch doesn’t get a lot of the love it should, because the events that take place in the North continue to be some of the most important in the series. As Jon Snow prepares to march to the mutineers and kill them before the wildling army gets to them first, the commanding officers are conspiring to get him killed, and there is a spy among them. Oh, and let’s not forget the freaking giant ice zombies. Life is not looking good for a crow. I mean, these mutineers are drinking wine out of the skulls of the men they killed. Meanwhile, we get to see the fate of all the sons that Craster was sacrificing to the White Walkers. This show was crazy enough without the prominent fantasy aspect, so how will have the White Walkers affect the dynamic of the show?

baby walker

Who won the game of thrones this episode?

My first instinct is to high five Tommen. Not only was his evil brother taken out of the picture, leaving Ser Pounce free from threats, but also making him the runner up with a legitimate mentor in Tywin. But the crown isn’t the only thing Tommen inherited from Joffrey; Margaery Tyrell has already promised herself to the young heir. Aside from having to pretend you miss your monster of a brother, this has been the best week for young Tommen. Unfortunately for him, though, he’s just a cog in the wheel.

necklace

The real winner here is Olenna Tyrell, who we learn is the real mastermind behind the Purple Wedding. She and Littlefinger both are moving pieces around the board when nobody even knows it’s their turn. When Olenna confesses her involvement to Margaery, she more or less pimps out her daughter to seize the attention of young Tommen. Of course, it takes a very opportunistic Margaery to pull it off, but you can see that Olenna is definitely pulling the strings. I love Olenna’s character because what she does, she does for the good of her house. She may have made a mistake by aligning herself with Littlefinger, a known conniver, but she looks to be the perfect match for his wit: noble enough to do the right thing, but smart enough to know when to abandon honor in exchange for survival. The best part of all of this is that nobody has suspected she or Littlefinger of this scheme.

So where do we go from here? It looks like Arya and Sansa are actually on track to get to the same place – Catelyn’s crazy sister with the boob juice. Meanwhile, Bran Stark has just made himself known to be alive in the very place Jon Snow marches to (and in the face of a wildling invasion. Will these be good Sark reunions or does this spell doom for the family of the North? Are Podrick and Brienne the new Westeros tag-team to watch? Can Dany take King’s Landing with the legion she’s amassed? Will Tommen end up chewed up and spit out by Cersei and Tyrion, or will he get himself some Margaery? Hopefully we’ll get some answers in next week’s episode, “First of His Name.”

All media credited to HBO

So Far This Week… April 23rd, 2014

If you didn’t catch it, Season 4 of The Boondocks kicked off Monday night with a hilarious guest spot from Michael B. Jordan. It wasn’t up to par with the Season 1-2 hilarity, but it was good to have it back. It made me realize how many crazy things have happened since The Boondocks were last on the air in August of 2010. Here’s a great read if you want to be in the know.

Happy Birthday to Game Boy! The iconic hand-held console turned 25 on Monday. From Game Boy to Game MAN.

Amazon Prime has made a major move in the bout with Netflix by striking a contract with HBO (sorry Thronies, no luck for you). However, you can still catch classic shows like The Wire and The Sopranos on the streaming service; check the link here for more details. Does this change your view about switching streaming services?

There is news of sequels abound… namely for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Super Troopers and The Goonies.

Ubisoft is currently working on adding a co-op mode to Assassin’s Creed: Unity. This could be the thing that finally gets me into playing the online modes for ACUnity drops Holiday season 2014.

Months after Quentin Tarantino lost his shit when somebody leaked the script to a film titled The Hateful Eight, he has dropped the suit (for the time being) and plans on continuing progress to create the film. Nobody wins here more than us.

If you thought the Cartoon Network show Beware the Batman was dead, you were almost correct. The poorly received show will be returning to CN, but airing at 3am on Saturday night – so pretty much still dead.

Looks like we should be gearing up for a video-game version of Kick-Ass 2 (check out our review here). I won’t lie – it looks terrible. As much as I love the franchise, it will take a whole lot of convincing to pay for something that looks this bad.

If you like picking apart each episode of Game of Thrones to predict the schemes and plot twists, but haven’t had time to catch up on the books like us, here is a little bit to get you through the weeks. Episode titles and descriptions give away more than I think they should, but it’s still fun to predict.

If I didn’t love Batman so much, I would say that DC Comics is overdoing it for their 75th Anniversary celebration. We can now look forward to Batman stealing the variant cover to almost every major DC book in July to commemorate the Dark Knight.

Oh boy, let the floodgates and scandal commence; whistle-blowers are blowing (poor choice of words) their whistles to uncover a “pedophile ring” among powerful Hollywood execs. If this really is the case, I hope justice gets served to the fullest.

On a lighter note (or maybe not) Chew, the Eisner Award winning comic book series about an FDA agent who uses psychic connection from the things (or people) he eats to solve crime mysteries, will be released in animated form, with The Walking Dead‘s Steve Yeun and Dr. Horrible‘s Felicia Day already down for voice acting.

It would seem the almighty Oprah Winfrey approves of comic books! The one in particular she advocated for on her show was March: Book One. Hush actually reviewed this book in honor of Black History Month; you can check it out here.

 

Game of Thrones Review “Breaker of Chains” S4E3

Game of Thrones: “Breaker of Chains” Review

Good day and welcome back to Hush Comics on this Easter Day as we go analyze this week’s episode of Game of Thrones, “Breaker of Chains.” I’m sorry to say, there were no Easter miracles taking place this evening – no resurrection of Ned Stark, no take-backsies from the Red Wedding or the Purple Wedding (oh darn…), but we are lucky enough to get a good follow-up episode.

easter got

Fresh off the insanity that was “The Lion and the Rose,” there are various reactions to the death of King Joffrey Bieberatheon. The realm engages in a city-wide sweep – a royal version of Clue, really. While Tyrion is taken into custody (this guy just cannot catch a break, yeesh), Dontos whisks Sansa away to safety. Even though I trusted Dontos’ intentions, I can’t help but feel I would not be trusting of him if I were in Sansa’s position. It is she that should be wearing the fool’s uniform, because this dumb girl does whatever she is told. Her inability for bravery has gotten her dire wolf and father killed; you can argue that her passiveness is the cause of Joffrey’s pomposity and bravado. So when Dontos says, “You’re stronger than you know,” all I can do is think about what utter horseshit that is. Perhaps she will bloom into the tough-as-nails Stark she really is, or maybe there wasn’t enough bravery for all of the Starks.

carcetti a hole

I was actually just talking to John about this yesterday, but I was wondering where in the hell Littlefinger was during all this chaos. And what do you know, there he was. I’ve hated him since Season 1, but just like Varys, I would never bet against a man with no morals and endless ambition. Varys’ enlightened opinion of Littlefinger’s scheme to steal “The Key of the North” and raise an army at Winterfell was spot on. It turns out that he orchestrated the whole thing, and that there were multiple players involved. Again, as much as I hate Littlefinger, I can’t help but respect his hustle. Mayor Carcetti would be proud of his ruthlessness: “Money buys a man’s silence for a time, but a bolt in the heart buys it forever.” Another food for thought, though, is that Varys only warned Olenna Tyrell of this plot. With everything unfolding as it did, I’m pretty convinced that Lady Tyrell had a major part to play in Joffrey’s assassination.

That is where it gets a bit confusing; outside of his own house, the House Tyrell had the most to lose in Joffrey’s death. Without boning Joffrey, the marriage was not consummated, meaning that Margaery’s position as Queen of the Seven Kingdoms is in question. Expectedly, the Tyrells do not shed a tear for their fallen King. Margaery is much more concerned with her loss of title, and Olenna is immensely thankful that he is gone. Actually, nobody cares that Joffrey is dead. Like a naughty joke at church, everybody wants to laugh and cheer, but it would be in bad taste. He does have one griever, and her name is Cersei. But, Fuck Cersei, seriously. Like Tyrion had told her before (although I believe in a mocking way), “A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth.” Although this is sadly a quote that now implicates the imp, Cersei has brought the whole house down on her head and it’s an absolute joy to watch her suffer.

joffrey tommen

Adding injury to insult is Jamie Lannister’s specialty, and this is no different. After being written off by Cersei for “taking too long,” Jamie has been trying desperately to win her back – which, when you forget the fact that they’re siblings, isn’t really that gross, right? I had figured that his time with Brienne of Tarth had humbled the great Kingslayer. He’s lost his hand, his ego and his title, so I figured that he had finally gotten a new lease on life. And in the following five minutes, he goes just about as far left as possible. After getting the cold shoulder from Cersei one more time, he wails that the gods are cruel for making him love a a hateful woman and proceed to rape his own sister at the foot of the her son’s corpse. At least now, if a woman asks you when chivalry died, you can reference the 15:00 mark of this episode.

The internal struggle for humanity is the common theme in “Breaker of Chains.” Sam is going through his own version of Jon Snow’s contention his his vows. He has fallen in love with Gilly, and is much more interested in keeping her safe and taken care of than the impending doom that awaits Castle Black. The Hound, who had seemed to be forming a symbiotic relationship with Arya after they discovered a mutual interest in murdering people, takes a nasty turn when he violates his own code by stealing from a good, honest man, earning him the title of “The Worst Shit in the Seven Kingdoms” by Arya. Oh, and let’s not forget about those cut-throat Wildlings; there is no fury like a woman scorned, and Ygritte is going to have to make some hard de… and there goes an arrow through the throat from Ygritte. Nevermind, then. All the while, Stannis Baratheon and Davos are scheming and plotting to make a comeback after their Season 2 humiliation at King’s Landing. Davos has given up his beliefs, siding with Melisandre and Stannis. He’s now a tool of Stannis, who is pretty much gone crazy. Imagine if the Westboro Baptist Church had nominated somebody for President… of the world. The night is dark, and full of bullshit (except for that time that demon baby murdered Renley).

 

OK! OK! No more potato jokes - I get it!
OK! OK! No more potato jokes – I get it!

Not everybody is losing their humanity, though. Stannis’ daughter, Shireen, has been teaching Davos how to read. She’s the one bright spot in easily the lamest of the Seven Kingdoms. She is well-read and sees right through Melisandre’s hocus-pocus. Meanwhile, Tyrion’s squire, Podrick, is unwaveringly loyal to his Lord – which usually ends up getting people murdered. Pod even sneaks Tyrion some food into his cell at the risk of his own life. It’s pretty hilarious, but Tyrion thinks ahead, and knows that “they, the ominous they” are following Podrick and orders Podrick leave King’s Landing immediately (Note: as loyal as Podrick has been, he never does say whether or not he agreed to the mystery man’s offer. You’d like to think so, but you never really know in this crazy game of thrones). Tyrion has effectively pushed away the only two people in his corner (Bran really only follows money, as enjoyable as his company may be). Even in his darkest time, Tyrion thinks of others, and is trying to figure out the crime instead of realizing that his own life hangs in the balance.

wanted me dead

Who won the game of thrones this episode?

Let’s not kid ourselves; the real winner of the game of thrones is Tywin Lannister in “Breaker of Chains.” After doing a good job of pretending to be outraged at his grandson’s death, he takes the next heir, Tommen, under his wing. Joffrey’s brother seems much less of a jerk, and Tywin seems pleasured to school young Tommen on the ways of Kingship. For being such a heartless bastard, he gives some solid, compassionate advice that makes me rethink everything about the rule of House Lannister. Considering Tywin was away while Joffrey pretty much caused a war for the throne from multiple sides that nearly cost the Lannisters the crown and lasted three seasons/books long, and maybe this is his way of making amends. He even goes so far as to try to appease Oberyn Martell and forge peace between the Houses – a difficult task seeing as Tywin gave the order to massacre Oberyn’s sister and her children. However, Tywin needs the Martell’s cooperation, because he has the vision to see that Daenerys Targaryen and her formidable forces in the East are in tow to Westeros – with three dragons! Has the Old Lion finally changed his ways, or is this just another trick to keep the Martells under his paw?

Oh, and yes,we finally get some Khaleesi time! It can definitely be argued that the Stormborn has just as good of an episode as Tywin. The trip to Westeros will come, but first she must build an army – an army of slaves. This episode, Meereen is the city being challenged by Daenerys. They meet her at the gate as they laugh in her face, insulting her ranks and the Mother of Dragons, herself. Khaleesi almost seems amused by the hurled insults, as her generals fight over the chance to represent her in battle. It was a little cheesy, and we knew who she was going to pick, but his delivery was well worth it (sorry, horse lovers).

i got this

Hush Comics gives “Breaker of Chains” a B for it’s solid progressing story and insightful look into Tywin’s mind. With every episode comes more anticipation of what is to come – which I hear is Winter. In the end, only Daneryas is able to “break the chains.” It seems Jamie, Sam, The Hound and Tyrion are still attached to theirs (Tyrion, literally). While each character struggles to grow or change, we as viewers get the pleasure of watching them struggle to do so. There is a lot to look forward to when we come back to next week’s episode, “Oathkeeper.”

All media credited to HBO

 

 

 

Weekend Wrap-Up…April 20, 2014

Happy Easter everybody! With everybody in Denver going absolutely bananas today over the first legal 4-20 (like that really stopped anybody before), we’re looking forward to some family time today.

A trailer for Season 2 of Orange is the New Black has been “released,” pun intended. Although Pennsatucky is noticeably missing, there’s a new inmate, Vee, played by Lorraine Toussaint (who was actually one of the students in Dangerous Minds – I guess even Michelle Pfeiffer couldn’t save her from prison). If you need a reason to watch this show, we can give you 13 of them.

Tonight’s GoT episode, “Breaker of Chains,” will reveal the fallout from the Purple Wedding. As big of a deal as this was, there are still so many other storylines happening right now. I’m so excited! Check for our review!

You say Whedon, I ask “how high?” The acclaimed writer/director will be making a new film In Your Eyes, which you can have the pleasure of seeing the first three minutes of here.

It’s kinda gotten to a point where, if you’re not watching Arrow, you’re missing out on life – or maybe it’s the other way around… Well, if you want to know what Ollie and Slade have been up to lately, here’s a link to stream the latest episode, “The Man Under the Hood.”

Am I the only one who has always wanted to become a cyborg? Well, Google is helping us get one step closer! Word has it that they found a way to integrate cameras into contact lenses.

Dark Horse comic book Concrete Park will be returning for a mini-series, Concrete Park: R-E-S-P-E-C-T in September, with Tony Puryear and Erika Alexanders at the helm. The noir-style sci-fi action mixed with the inner-city gang activity made the original a lot of fun to read. The only question is, “Will you get down or lay down?”

Following Son of Batman, DC Animated will be released a New 52 Suicide Squad film titled Batman: Assault on Arkham. Based off a Suicide Squad arc, there are some notable changes here: Batman is in the story at all, there’s no Deathstroke (as we saw in Arkham: Origins), Joker still has a face. I’m excited to root for the bad guys, nevertheless.

Three word – Cleopatra. In. Space. Are you sold yet? Well, this original graphic novel by Mike Maihack is coming out on April 29th. You can get a good 13 pages of preview and the direction to go if you’d like to purchase it; just follow this link. I’m pretty well sold on it.

I might be crazy, but I think I want to see a movie with Robert Pattinson in it. The Rover stars Guy Pearce and Guy Twilight as two men fighting through a desolate gang-ridden Australia. Check out the trailer here.

Sadly, we were unable to attend WonderCon this year, but that doesn’t mean we can’t fill you in on the tidbits of news we found there:

Darwyn Cooke has released a Batman Beyond short commemorating Batman’s 75th Anniversary. In true Easter tradition, Yahoo! has broken down all of the Easter Eggs they found in the 90 second segment. See if you could recognize them all!

The Son of Batman has gotten great reviews since its debut at WonderCon. It will be available for digital purchase on April 22nd and BD/DVD on May 6th.

The Brian Singer debacle made for quite an interesting X-Men: Days of Future Past panel. Sidestepping those issues, the panel vowed that DOFP would try to mend all that The Last Stand ruined.

Game of Thrones Review “The Lion and the Rose” S4E2

The Lion and the Rose
SPOILER ALERT! Warning, this recap has major spoilers to “The Lion and the Rose,” if you haven’t watched the episode yet, please go to HBO GO immediately!

HBO GO shut down because of traffic last week, (this is after fixing the glitch that caused the True Detective season finale crash) 6.6 million viewers watched “Two Swords”, the season premier, and our favorite gamers got the cover of Vanity Fair magazine. Game of Thrones is making its argument for best television series of all time, or at least the bloodiest. According to Vanity Fair, (Yes, I read VF) the show has been illegally downloaded more than any other in history. Not only that, but President Barack Obama gets early screenings in the White House, not a bad perk for Commander-in-chief.

I’d like to start by saying that rarely does a T.V. series cause its watchers to be so impassioned. Just last week I had a Facebook war with fellow Hush writer, Jené Conrad about whether or not Khaleesi is a name or title for Daenerys Targaryen.

Image

Hurrah! George R.R. Martin actually wrote the script for this week’s episode. We open with a hunt. A young woman is being chased through the woods by Theon Greyjoy’s captor, Ramsay Snow, a female archer, Greyjoy, and a pack of wild dogs. Greyjoy, now called Reek by Ramsay, watches as Ramsay sadistically let’s the dogs tear her apart.

Image

We immediately cut to another phallic reference following that scene with Tyrion and Jamie eating a meal. This is an on going theme since Ramsay removed Theon’s…manhood.

Tyrion seeks to strengthen his bond with his brother by offering his bodyguard Bronn, to train him to use a sword with one hand. The scene made me laugh as I thought to myself of the classic, Princess Bride moment, “I am not left-handed!”

Image

Ramsay Snow, returns home. He greets his father, but the welcome is not friendly. It’s important to note that Ramsay is also a bastard. Ramsay’s father, Lord Roose Bolton seems domineering and cold. But they bask in their victories. Theon Greyjoy is presented as a trophy. Bolton is disappointed that Theon has been broken. But Ramsay earns his father’s graces by revealing that Bran and Rickon Stark are still alive. Theon admits that he did not murder the Stark boys and they are now part of the game. They quickly devise a plan and Jon Snow will soon be paid a visit by Locke, the guy who chopped off Jamie’s hand.

Tyrion has been warned by Lord Varys about his former lover, Shae being outed. Tywin Lannister promised to murder the next whore found with his son. Tyrion must now protect her.

Image

He confronts her, breaks her heart, for her own good, and demands that she leave. He arranged passage for her on a boat, she had no choice but to take his offer.

Image

We cut to Joffrey and Margaery’s pre-wedding ceremony. The book of The Four Kings is presented to Joffery as a gift from Tyrion. Joffery seems to have reconciled as he gives thanks to Tyrion. He then, in a spoiled fit, destroys the book Tyrion offered with a newly acquired Valyrian blade. He celebrates by antagonizing Sansa while gloating over the death of Ned Stark.

Stannis Baratheon is still sacrificing souls to strengthen his power. What a weirdo. Let’s hope Davis Seaworth gets out of there soon. He is still the only voice of reason in that cult of crazies.

Bran has been hunting as a Dire Wolf. His abilities to live as animals in the Westeros are growing stronger. He and his band are still traveling beyond the wall. He is having difficultly staying in human form. Hodor places him by a Heart Tree, these Weirwood trees with carved faces are found in the Godswood. Bran sees his father and the three eyed crow, and a dragon over King’s Landing. A voice commands him to go north.

Wedding of Joffery and Margaery Tyrell was magnificent. It was truly a wedding of royalty. Tyrion leaned into his wife Sansa and muttered, “Better her than you.” Preach!

Image

The celebration was grand and colorful. We have rarely seen King’s Landing that plush. In a tender moment, Margaery’s grandmother, Olenna Tyrell offers her condolences to Sansa by saying, “As if men need more reasons to fear marriage.” In reference to The Red Wedding. Jamie and Loras Tyrell get into a pissing match over Cersei. Jamie’s jealously is rampant. Loras is engaged to marry Cersei by order of Tywin. Immediately Cersei confronts Lady Brienne and the proud warrior woman inadvertently declares her love for Jamie. In a fit of anger, Cersei commands that the leftover food from the celebration go to the dogs of King’s Landing rather than the poor as the new Queen Margaery had declared.

Lord Oberyn finds the Lannisters in the middle of the celebration and intentionally insults Cersei and Tywin. He also subtly makes a threat on Cersei’s daughter, Myrcella. This revenge plot will be one to follow!

The party continues. The War of the five kings plays out in grand theatrical manner with fools in costume. Sansa watches in quite contemplation as everyone is disgusted except for Joffrey.

Image

Fools Rush In

He is cruel and pompous. Drunk on power Joffrey pours wine on Tyrion’s head, he continues to torment his uncle until the entire wedding party is uncomfortable. Joffrey drops his gauntlet and Sansa and Tyrion share a moment as she retrieves it for him.
Joffrey orders Tyrion to kneel. Tyrion refuses. The tension is high and is broken only when the pigeon pie is brought out. As Joffrey sips from his goblet. He begins to choke. It becomes clear that he has been poisoned! It’s about fucking time! In a glorious performance his face turns pale, then blue and purple. He points towards Tyrion with his final act as king and dies. This is the moment we have been waiting three seasons for! After countless good guys being murdered off, this was inevitable. I’m not ashamed to say that I will miss him. There are few characters on the show that we can hate so viscerally.

Image

Before you celebrate, keep in mind, he is barely a man. 

Joffrey is dead and Cersei believes Tyrion poisoned her son. She immediately orders him seized. Clearly Tyrion has been framed again. Remember the whole murder attempt on Bran’s life? This week’s episode was an A+! There was no frontal nudity and only one death, but it was the episode we were all hoping would happen!!!

Come back next week for our recap on “The Breaker of Chains.”

All media credited to HBO

Game of Thrones Review “Two Swords” S4E1

Game of Thrones for the casual Throny

Going through Walking Dead withdrawal? No need to go into a digital 12 step program because Game of Thrones is back! I’ve been a die hard fan for the first three seasons and, although I have only read the first book in the series, I fancy myself enough of a casual fan to walk you through the premier of Season 4, “Two Swords!” Caution: major spoilers for the first three seasons ahead.

Two things you need to know before we get started: the Lannisters are assholes and someone is either going to get fucked or killed in any given episode.

Seriously. What a douche.
Seriously. What a douche.

There isn’t a show on television that does sex and gratuitous violence better than GOT. Season three ended with the Lannisters’ (dicks of Westeros) total domination over nearly all of their enemies. Resident teenage sociopath, King Joffrey Bieber sits on the throne after surviving an uprising at King’s Landing (Capital of The Seven Kingdoms). He is preparing to wed Margaery Tyrell to add stability to the realms. The rebel army from the North has been defeated with Robb Stark betrayed and beheaded. His mother, Catelyn Stark also died in glorious fashion in last season’s Red Wedding by the orders of Tywin Lannister, (if you haven’t seen it, make it a HBOgo night). The Mother of Dragons, Daenerys Targaryen, leads an army more than 10,000 strong to avenge her family and over-throw the Lannisters. Jamie has returned to King’s Landing missing a right hand but gaining some much needed humility. Sansa Stark is in mourning over the news of the demise of her mother and her brother, but her short – in stature, but not in heart – husband Tyrion Lannister is by her side. Wildlings plan to attack The Wall and The White Walkers are still coming!

photo (1)

Now that we’ve brought you up to speed, let’s pick up the pieces from The Red Wedding. “Two Swords” begins with patriarch Tywin Lannister melting down Ned Stark’s Valyrian steel sword and refashioning it into two blades, one for himself, and one for his now deformed son Jamie. Hence the title of the premier, Two Swords. Jamie is struggling to find a place for himself. He refuses to take rule over Lannister stronghold, Casterly Rock, and is rejected by his sister and former lover Cersei Lannister (Yes, that is totally normal in the Thrones world).

photo

We are not deprived of fan favorite Tyrion Lannister. The newlywed is tasked to greet a party of Dorne dignitaries arriving for Joffrey’s wedding. We are introduced to a new player in our game, Prince Oberyn Martell. We find him at Littlefinger’s brothel picking whores for his appetite. Oberyn also has a fierce hatred for all things Lannister and tells Tyrion that his sister, Elia was married to Rhaegar Targaryen, commonly referred to as the Mad King. She and her children were murdered by the Lannisters in their coup of King’s Landing. Oberyn is here to inform Tywin that, “Lannisters aren’t the only ones who pay their debts.”

Jon Snow has returned to the Knight’s Watch a different man. He has been through hell and he knows it. He has narrowly escaped death, his family has been slaughtered, and there are armies amassing on the other side of the wall. He faces trial for breaking his vows but is allowed to live because of his knowledge of what lies beyond. He is the most valuable asset to Castle Black, and perhaps the entire Kingdom. He is being followed by his former Wilding lover turned crazy ex-girlfriend, Ygritte. She is determined to have vengeance for Jon’s betrayal.

Daenerys is in dire need of the How to Train Your Dragon guidebook. They are growing out of control and may soon become more of a liability. She leads her freed slave-army Meereen, on yet another siege to free bonded souls. Note, the role of Daario, advisor and warrior to her army, was recast this season. His character is making brash attempts to win her heart – and so far, he is succeeding.

 My personal favorite badass, swords-woman, Brienne of Tarth, has followed Jamie to King’s Landing and reminds him that he made an oath to protect the remaining Starks. Brienne is noble and morally pure (as far as we’ve seen). She’s the one untainted spot in a world stained with traitors, thieves, murderers and rapists. The only other character with a sense of nobility like that was Ned Stark – and we know what that did for him. Could this be Jamie’s opportunity for redemption? He does bring up a good point about Sansa, though. Where in the world would she be safe? To a certain degree,  we at Hush thought that her misery was just really rough Karma, but how long before she plots her revenge?

Finally, we are reunited with Arya, my absolute favorite character, and boy is she pissed. She travels with The Hound. They are traveling to The Vale where he intends to sell her to her crazy Aunt Lysa, (remember the awkward breast-feeding one?) They stumble upon an inn where she recognizes Polliver, one of the king’s men and her former kidnapper. He is in possession of her sword, Needle and she wants it back.
 Hound
She also wants revenge for the death of her friend whom he killed in cold blood. She did not get this satisfaction for Mycah, the butcher’s boy who The Hound murdered. The Hound replies with one of Sherif’s favorite lines: “A man has to have a code,” a clear nod to Omar and Bunk’s conversation in The Wire. This was her opportunity to have revenge and forgive The Hound. The pair murder all in the inn and Arya stains her hands with the blood of her enemies. She has become a killer and is a serious threat to all who have wronged her. 
“Two Swords” was a much needed push back into our world of dragons and wolves. This season promises to have more death and sex and will keep us talking on Monday morning. Next week’s episode, “The Lion and the Rose” puts us North of the wall with Bran! All Men Must Die! The lion is Joffrey  and Margaery’s the rose (her mother is often referred to as The Mother of the Rose), so we’re looking forward to learning more reasons why we should hate Joffrey and more reasons we should love MargaeryTyrell (other than her GQ cover shoot)
All media credited to HBO
Written by John Soweto

Weekend Wrap-Up…April 6, 2014

You join us here on a Sunday afternoon, sans-Walking Dead. But rejoice! Season 4 of Game of Thrones is here to fill that gap in your life. Check out this titillating preview.

In other Game of Thrones news, Natalie Dormer (Joffrey’s wife, Margaery Tyrell) has posed for GQ in a very risqué way, luckily for us.

More Throny madness! Gwendoline Christie (Brienne of Tarth) will be playing Commander Lyme, commander of the rebellion and leader of District 13, in Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1.

The Heisenberg himself, Bryan Cranston, has signed on to write a memoir about his time filming Breaking Bad. If you’re like us, you will buy one hundred copies, build a fort out of them and scream at everybody who passes to “get out of your territory.” The book is due out next fall.

If you haven’t made time to go see Captain America: The Winter Soldier, it’s not too late. Wanna hear about how awesome it is? Check out our mostly spoiler-free review here.

Arrow just got a whole new level of crazy last week. Summer Glau’s character isn’t what she appears to be. That is, unless you’ve seen this Twitter picture of her in Ravager gear! Ravager is Slade Wilson’s daughter, and one bad B. Summer Glau is usually as deadly as she is beautiful, so I can’t wait to see her tear up Starling City.

Michael Bay’s TMNT (sigh…) has chosen to replace two of its voice actors. The new Leonardo and Splinter voices have been awarded to Johnny Knoxville – yep, the guy from Jackass – and Tony Shalhoub (WingsMonk). I swear, you can give yourself an aneurism worrying about this movie, but it’s best to just let it happen.

To celebrate Batman’s 75th anniversary, Cartoon Network will be airing an animated short, made by the master himself, Bruce Timm. If you don’t catch it tonight, I’m sure that it will be YouTube gold by this time tomorrow.

DC Animated’s next film, Son of Batman, is one of my most anticipated things of 2014. Check out this new clip that features Batman putting the hurt on Killer Croc. The movie comes out May 6th.

If you’re looking to blow some money, the Limited Edition Season 4 Blu-Ray set (wow, that’s a mouthful) for The Walking Dead has been announced and is now available for pre-order. Fans of the show will recognize the walker on the cover as “Tree Walker,” the walker Herschel convinced Carl not to put down.

Michonne and Rick are having a baby! Just kidding… Danai Gurira revealed the “news” to Jimmy Kimmel earlier this week.

Spiderman 2099 is back! The futuristic web-head made some guest appearance in Superior Spider-Man, but Miguel O’Hara will be getting his own series this July.

The Big Bang Theory is planning a Star Wars Day episode.  And Bob Newhart is going to be Sheldon’s Jedi Master.  Hmmmm….

Will Chiwetel Ejiofor be James Bond’s new nemesis?  We approve, but only if he dies a good death.

Ridley Scott + Halo + Digital Movie Short = Nerd Heaven?

There have been some new casting decisions made for Better Call Saul.  Several lawyers and a few criminals.  But really, we just care about Mike.

Kid President is getting his own show.  Unfortunately, its on a network no one has.  But good for that little fella!

The Volume 3 release of Batman: Death of the Family will come with Joker mask.  Yeah, that one.

Have you seen the new trailer for Lucy?  It has ScarJo and Morgan Freeman.  Sold.

Yeah, and there is that Gremlins remake.  Is nothing sacred?!

written by Sherif Elkhatib and Adrian Puryear