Game of Thrones Review “The Laws of Gods and Men” S4E6

Well, it’s been two weeks now, and it’s official, I miss Joffrey. I even went as far as to watch Batman Begins and skipped chapters to his scene with Katie Holmes (Rachel Dawes) as he clutched her side while Gotham was being ransacked.

This also prompted me to return to season one of GoT. Hungry for spoilers I found Littlefinger’s diatribe about revenge in You Win or You Die to be especially juicy. He said, “I learned that I’ll never win, not that way. That’s their game, their rules. I’m not going to fight them. I’m going to fuck them. That’s what I know, that’s what I am, and only by admitting what we are do we get what we want.”

We open with Stannis Baratheon on a ship entering the shores of Bravvos underneath a huge stone statue of a soldier. The scene was pretty LOTR looking if you ask me. He seeks council with The Iron Bank. Stannis pleads his case to the bank for the throne of Westeros. He only has 4,000 men and 32 ships, not nearly enough to defeat the Lannisters. The Iron Bank declines.

Ser Davos intercedes and makes the argument that after Tywin is gone, who will take the throne? How will the bank recover its losses to the Lannisters? He convinces the bank and recruits his long time pirate friend Salladhor Sam, aka the Lando Calrissian of this Game of Thrones shit.

Next, the Greyjoys attack. Yara leads a small army on Ramsay Snow at Dreadfort. She gives a Braveheart-like speech. They must return Theon home and punish those that have hurt him. But Theon is no longer Theon, he is Reek. Ramsay has made sure of that. Yara plans to storm the dungeons only to find out that Reek lives in the kennel with the dogs. The Greyjoys give a valiant effort to free Reek and escape, but Reek refuses and his resistance nearly costs them their lives. He has been broken and now belongs to Ramsay. I wanted to feel sorry for him until I remembered how much of a dick he was…literally. Yara and her army leave him with Ramsay and declare him a lost cause.

Reek is rewarded with a bath. His obedience is frightening. He has been broken. Snow can now use Theon to do whatever he wants. Ramsay now plots a take over of Dreadfort.

Green hills. Clear skies. A picture perfect day in Meereen for a boy, his father and their flock of sheep, until a dragon the size of a school bus rises over a cliff and burns everything in sight! Remember that shitty Christian Bale movie, Reign of Fire? Even though the movie sucked, the dragons were awesome. They had a great way of moving stealth until a fatal strike. That’s how Dany’s dragon got the drop on the flock. I have to admit, the scene was pretty epic.

Queen Daenerys is on her throne. Her first act is to pay the shepherd three times what his flock was worth after her dragon’s afternoon snack. One of Meereen’s citizens comes to Dany for funeral rights for his father, a former master of Meereen. He pleads her to take the crucified masters down as a son who loved his father. She grants his wish as her first act of mercy. Don’t get too excited, she still has 212 supplicants to go. Ser Jorah rolls his eyes.

Knight Court

Lord Oberyn of Dorne is now on the council at Kings Landing. The council discusses rumors of, “The Mountain’ and “The Hound.” But the more pressing issue is Daenery’s and her Unsullied, three dragons, Ser Jorah and Ser Barristan at her side. Tywin believes Dany should be dealt with and a plan is hatched.

Lord Varys and Oberyn speak about the Unsullied. Oberyn determines where Varys is from originally. When asked about his sexual tastes, Varys replies, “Absence of desire leaves one free to pursue other things.”

Jamie greets Tyrion in his cell. It is time for his trial. After being cuffed, Tyrion spouts, “Well, we mustn’t disappoint father.” The two King-slayers walk into the great chamber. Tommen is shown respect as king of The Iron Throne. He recuses himself from the trial. As he walks away Tyrion seems disappointed, he was once quite fond of the child.

Tywin takes control of the trial and seats himself in the Iron Throne. In response to his father’s accusation of murder he proclaims, “Blame the pigeons, just leave me out of it.” In reference to the Pigeon Pie Joffrey ate as he died. Without question Joffrey was poisoned by The Strangler, a concoction made from plants of the Jade Sea. The poison kills its victims by making it appear as if they choked to death. Witness after witness are called to the stand and all accuse Tyrion of the deed. They use his own words against him. Cersei has her day in court as well. Tyrion is being railroaded. Lord Varys all but accuses him of treason when he implies that Tyrion was sympathetic to the Stark’s cause. Tyrion asked him whether or not he forgot the victory at Blackwater. It wasn’t enough to bring Lord Varys to his aid.

Jamie fights for his brother, this is the most honorable we have seen him. He begs Tywin to spare Tyrion’s life. He recalls that he killed the Mad King to save Tywin. Without Tyrion he will have no one to carry the Lannister banner into future battles. He offers to take Tywin’s place as heir if he saves Tyrion’s life. An offer is made. If Tyrion admits to murdering the king he will spend the rest of his days on The Wall with The Knight’s Watch. Jamie plans this strategy with his brother. Jamie tells him to beg for mercy. Tyrion has a moment of hope before the bottom falls. They call Shae as a witness. Tyrion is shocked. Sidenote; The acting in this scene is brilliant, shout out to Peter Dinklage! He is by far the most entertaining actor on this show.
Shae is heart-broken and bitter. She lies and says that Tyrion and Sansa plotted against Joffrey. She claims that she heard the whole thing and knew that he stole the poison. Her true motives are revealed when she proclaims that she was his property, his whore. Now he is broken. All of the things that he has said and done have now come back to haunt him. Shae says that he promised to kill King Joffrey for Sansa. Tyrion has had enough. He confesses and blurts to the onlookers that he, “Should have let Stannis kill you all!” Referring back to the battle of Blackwater.

One of the most powerful moments in the entire series comes next. Tyrion is tired and defeated. He has nowhere else to hide. There is no place behind the Lannister name, neither behind his wit or his drunkenness. All he has is pride, and he uses it to his advantage. He proclaims;

“Yes father I’m guilty. I’m guilty of a far more monstrous crime. I’m on trial for being a dwarf. I’ve been on trial my entire life. I wish I was the monster you think I am.”

“I demand a trial by combat.”

Next week’s episode is Mockingbird
This episode was written by Byran Cogman

Pictures courtesy of HBO.com, Huffingtonpost.com and MTV.com

The Walking Dead Review “After” S4E9

After such an explosive season 4A finale, the season 4B opener of the The Walking Dead was a little lackluster.  It may be because the producers need to save money and not pay actors, but having an opener being Carl-centric was a bit disappointing.  Let’s face it, most people were concerned with Glenn and Maggie reuniting and Daryl saving the day.  But that is probably why we didn’t get to see any of that at all.  Instead, we got to yell at the idiocy of angsty pre-teen Carl Grimes.  The redeeming part of “After” was Michonne having emotions.

We enter the episode with Michonne returning to the prison after everyone has scattered.  But she is going back for only one reason: to finish Hershel off.  Along the way is one of the big plusses of the episode, the recreation of Michonne’s Walker Pets. Then we get a good ole’ “way too soon” shot of Hershel’s little walker head and Michonne stabbing it.  All the feels.

Enter Rick and Carl walking alone down the open road.  Carl walks ahead because he has tricked himself into thinking he is a badass.  It becomes clear that Carl doesn’t have respect for Rick anymore, but it is unclear why.  Is it because he realizes his dad isn’t invincible?  Is it because he thinks his dad let all their friends die?  Or is it simply that Carl is just a little shit?  It really could be all of the above.  They enter an abandoned restaurant and encounter Big Joe, the guy with the thickest skull this side of Wolverine.  Is it likely that Rick’s axe wouldn’t have killed Joe?  Probably not, but then we wouldn’t have gotten this piece of advice, “Every bullet counts.”  Rick says this to Carl after Carl shoots Joe.  Again Carl tries to show his upper hand by not doing what his father says.  They find a home and argue some more.  Then like a jealous woman, Carl brings up Shane.  Going for the jugular.  It was the moment for me that I realized that I don’t really like Carl, again.  He had half a season of being a tiny little Rambo, but now he just looks and acts like his stunt double, a 30 something woman.  It’s pretty terrible.

Michonne had a bad dream.  It seemed though that all of it really happened, just not in the same sequence as it happened in the dream.  We got a taste of her dressed up and talking like a normal human being.  She had a pretty nice apartment, too.  She has a “lover” and a child.  She also put her Katana in her knife block.  I am really hoping that a knife block featuring a Katana goes on sale at Target tomorrow.  Anyway, her dream got creepy and her boyfriend and his friend got their arms cut off before they were walkers.  But then she woke up!  But I guess waking up from a bad dream in the zombie apocalypse isn’t really waking up from a bad dream.

Back at the home Rick and Carl found, Carl sits in what was once a young man’s room.  A room with many of the same things Carl may have had if the zombies had never happened.  It was a simple little touch to what was an attempt at a coming of age story.  Unfortunately, this was the only good touch.  Rick is passed out on the couch and all Carl does to try to wake him up is scream at him.  He doesn’t even check his pulse!  It’s pretty ridiculous in a show about survival.  Anyway, of course his screaming attracted walkers.  And then Carl didn’t stay in the house.  Yeah, and I wasn’t the only one thinking that either.  I found this gem on Tumblr everywhere after typing in “The Walking Dead.”

And he decides to mess with the walkers.  Remember last time he did that?  Well Dale died.  This time, no one died, but Carl should have.  He leads them away from the house, more than likely because he knows he shouldn’t be out in the first place.  Then he encounters a third walker and barely is able to shoot all three.  They do die on top of him and he has to wriggle his way out.  Then he throws up, wasting the milkless Wheaties he and Rick had argued over the night before.  Instead of being scared though, like a little punk he says, “I win.”  This kids needs an ass whoopin’.  He goes back to the house and yells at an unconscious Rick some more, this time about being such a badass blah, blah, blah and then says he doesn’t need Rick anymore.  Mmm, mmm, mmm, what a little asshole (credit to the secretary in Ferris Bueller).  And moreover, it seemed like not so great acting.  I was not moved.  It may have been the content, but isn’t every 14 year old kid too big for their britches?  Is it that hard to act it well?

Carl decides to go explore some more and finds a lot of pudding in the kitchen of a nearby home.  But then he also finds a walker, wastes lots of bullets and when that one bullet he needed was gone, he tries to scoot away.  Didn’t he think of pistol whipping him?  Well, obviously not.  In a big show of cat and mouse, Carl ends up getting away, although I’m not entirely sure how because there were plenty of chances for his leg to be bit.  But his shoe did get taken away by the walker.  And that was the whoopin’ he got.  And it probably will be the only time that he gets beaten up and his shoe stolen from a bully.  Then he went and ate that puddin’ on top of a roof.  It was a little sweet, a boy and his puddin’.  But then I remembered that Carl is a total A-Hole and it wasn’t that sweet anymore.

Michonne ended up in the woods with her new pets in the midst of a herd.  When she sees a walker who looks eerily like herself she starts to freak out.  Then she copes.  She copes big time.  She literally killed an entire herd by herself.  Well, and her Katana.  And that is how Michonne got her groove back.  A big thanks to my friend Robert for saying that (and the shoe thing earlier) while we watched tonight’s ep.  Michonne then follows the tracks in the mud back to people.  She is ready to be with the living again.

Back at the house, Carl sits with Rick in the dark.  Rick wakes up, and seems like an un-dead man.  But then it turns out he is just continuing his dead-like breathing with his broken ribs and didn’t want to say anything to build suspense.  Then he says “Carl” in his very strange way and passes out.  Carl finally admits he’s scared and then he cries like a little whimp.

Michonne finds clues as to where they are and reunites with Rick and Carl.  Maybe Michonne will be the saving grace Rick needs, because Carl certainly didn’t go out looking for medicine.  It was all about chocolate pudding.

Hush Comics gives tonight’s episode of The Walking Dead a C.  The only redeeming factor was more background on Michonne, her awesome zombie genocide and more emotional depth as to why she is the way she is.  Carl was the center of the episode and if I wasn’t invested in the rest of the group, it would have been a deal breaker.  Carl nor the actor who portrays him are ready for such a tall order of carrying an episode.  It actually mirrors the comic book content pretty well, but the delivery by Chandler Riggs comes off much more like a pubescent tantrum than a boy becoming a man.  This is made compounding disappointing by the fact that it was written by the man, Robert Kirkman, himself.  Robert Kirkman may have been going for a coming of age tale, but all it did was make me dislike Carl more than I already did.  He may be Southern, but he is no Huck Finn.

All photos belong to AMC Television.

written by Adrian Puryear

The Walking Dead Review “Too Far Gone” S4E8

“Too Far Gone” .  Battles were fought.  Some won and some lost.

If you don’t want to know the specifics of those winners and losers, then for the love of whatever God you pray to, don’t read ahead.  In fact, if you haven’t seen the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead don’t go on the internet.  Just don’t internet.

The episode starts with The Governor giving his big campaign-style speech about how they all need to take the prison.  He becomes a voiceover for himself as he abducts Hershel and Michonne from the prison gates.  He explains to his groups that their territory isn’t safe, the prison is and that the people who currently live in the prison killed his daughter and the town of Woodbury.  Once Tara, his lover’s sister, says she’s “in” the others join in.  What sheep.  How can so many groups of people be sheep in this world? I suppose it is one of the points of this series.  Meanwhile, his lover, Lilly, is the only one who questions his actions and motives.  He has already admitted that he kidnapped two people from the prison.  Yet, he believes his sweet-talking works on her, but it will prove him fatal.

The Governor holds Michonne and Hershel in an RV as his personal inmates. He talks to them and Hershel tries to convince him that they can all live in the prison.  The Governor tells them they won’t get hurt, but they can’t all live together. At one point, Hershel calls Philip “Governor” and he is very quick to order Hershel not to call him that.  It seems so odd that he is promising them they won’t be hurt when we all know they are bargaining chips yet he doesn’t want to be called by the name he deserves to go by.  The two golden nuggets of this scene were The Governor telling Hershel, “You’re a good man; a better man than Rick” and Michonne telling The Governor, “I’m gonna kill you.”  Oh, Michonne.  What a clairvoyant.

The Governor has the group packing up for war as he leaves behind Lilly and Meghan. Lilly wants to just move somewhere by water since it seems safer.  The evil mastermind says his goodbyes to Meghan, who is making make believe peanut butter sandwiches out of red mud.  The Governor picks her up in his arms as if she is his own.  He believes that her legacy for the world will be to be alive.  We know that children who can’t protect themselves can’t stay alive.  The Governor does not know this yet.

Back at the prison, Maggie and a healing Glenn have cute couple banter.  Their anniversary is coming up.  Sometime.  Daryl and Rick discuss Carol’s ousting.  Unfortunately, we don’t get to see the entire talk, just Daryl’s mediocre reaction to it.  When Rick says he was worried about Tyreese’s reaction to Carol, Daryl threatens too late he would have taken care of it.  Daryl and Carol forever.  Sasha thanks Bob for helping save her life by treating her with meds.  He still feeling bad about life, probably the alcohol incident.  He was staring at and holding a shoe box.  What is in that box?  We will have to wait until February to find out.  Tyreese approaches Rick and Daryl before they approach him.  He found another rat that had been ripped apart, but by a human.  Right as Rick is about to tell Tyreese the “truth” about Carol (there is much debate in the Hush household about whether Carol really killed Karen) the prison gets hit by something big enough to rattle the concrete.  Rick and the rest run outside and are encountered with The Governor and his crew with the tank.  The Governor wants to talk and Rick tells him there is now a counsel.  When Rick is presented with the bargaining chips of Michonne and Hershel, who are brought out on there knees, it becomes clear that one if not both of them will be killed.  Comic book readers immediately know what is going to happen.  Clearly Rick in the TV series has not read the comics because he says, and I quote, “I don’t make decisions anymore.”  Uh, what?  Obviously there is a counsel for the poor decisions that were made but this seems a little more urgent than just throwing your hands up and saying, “Nope.  Uh-uh.”  But of course The Governor lets him know what is what and responds, “You’re making decisions today.”  Gulp.

The Governor music bangs loudly. Alisha stands behind Hershel and proves what a sheep she is.  Rick hugs Carl and walks down to the gate to have the chat.  As they start, Daryl begins to hand out the weapons to the group and conduct a plan for escape.  As Rick tries to negotiate, we see that the prison watchtower is ablaze from the tank.  The Governor and Rick go back and forth about who owns the prison, whether they can live together, that there doesn’t need to be violence.  Yada yada.  Negotiations cannot be made.  Did anyone else notice that Michonne has a band-aid on her forehead from getting pistol whipped?  Hershel must have found it in the RV.  What a sweetie.

Lilly sits by the river in a lawn chair.  She sees a walker on the other side and he adeptly makes it through the water considering he is lifeless.  “Mommy, can you please help me dig?’ Meghan calls out.  It is then that I knew Meghan was a goner.  If anyone digs in this world, it is for graves.  Meghan is still playing in the red mud and finds a sign that reads “WARNING: FLASH FLOOD AREA”  Just as she is able to read the sign, a hand reaches out of the mud from below her, in true zombie horror movie fashion.  The buried walker rises from the dead and takes a big bite from the little blonde-haired girl.  Take note blondies, dye your hair before the apocalypse because your future is bleak.

Back at the stand-off, some walkers approach The Governor’s group.  He shoots them, though not adeptly, but they die evenutally.  Carl and Daryl aim for fire in the background and Carl talks big game.  Daryl calms him down.  Two of the little girls from Carol’s Knifefighting Academy carry baby Judith in a baby seat.  Lizzie tells the other girls that they should all have guns.  I would not want her on my island if it was just us.  But in an crisis, she is kind of smart.  Back at the non-negotiation, Rick tells The Governor that without the fences, the prison is worthless.  “We can all live in the prison, or none of us can.”  This was all The Governor needed.  He jumps down from the tank, grabs Michonne’s kitana, and puts it up to Hershel’s neck.  

Rick calls upon Tara aka “you in the ponytail” and asks if this is what she really wants.  Mitch chimes in saying they want what he (Rick) has.  Considering his brother was just stabbed in the back, he is such a dick.  Rick tells the group about having the people of Woodbury as their leaders in the prison and that they can be one of them now.  “We can still come back.  We’re not too far gone. I know we all can change.”

Hershel smiles at Rick ever so slightly, motioning that all those talks and pieces of advice had finally worked for the shows hero.  The Governor does not like Rick’s speech.  He snarls “LIAR” and slices Hershel’s neck with the kitana.  Is this a direct reference to the labels we saw in the last episode?  It would be great writing if it was.

The slow motion reactions of the group to Hershel’s death are palpable.  Maggie and Beth scream with no sound.  Choosing this effect worked so well for the emotion of the scene.  Rick screams, draws and fires his gun.  Michonne quickly rolls behind the cars of The Governor’s group to get out of the way of the gun fire.  Both groups are aiming for anybody they can.  Hershel isn’t fully dead, which is hard to watch him wiggle on the ground with half his neck detached.  Michonne gets out of her restraints.  The Governor takes her sword and begins to literally hack Hershel’s head off his neck.  For a split second, it seems that he is maybe stopping a zombie head from coming to life, but it is really just The Governor being a sick and twisted fuck head.  Ces’t la vie.

As the Governor gets done practicing his slicing skills, he looks up to see Lilly carrying a deceased Meghan.  He runs towards them.  Tara hides behind a truck and is panicking.  Alisha, her lover, tries to calm her down, but Tara brings up probably the most valid point ever said in The Walking Dead, “He chopped a guy’s head off with a sword!”  That sums following people for the sake of it pretty damn well.  The Governor takes Meghan’s lifeless body from her mother’s arms and shoots her in the head before she reanimates.  He has no emotion on his face.  He comes back to the group and commands them to all go for the prison and “Kill them all!” an iconic panel for comic fans.

From the time Hershel is so brutally murdered to the time The Governor orders the raid on the prison is only 3 minutes of screen time.  All this happens in 3 minutes.  Just soak that in for a minute.

The tank takes down the gates the prison, and really, who else thinks this is really dumb?  The Governor was able to convince them to go to the prison to take it as theres.  By running the gates down, the Prison has no use.  And then.. oh Jesus, and then, they start blowing holes in the prison walls with the tank.  Uh, what?  The one command of “Kill them all” was really enough to make a fairly peaceful group of Winnebago dwellers go all Full Metal Jacket?  Well I guess for the sake of time left in the episode it was.  But holes in the prison walls is not really a safe habitat for the RVers now.  The RVers shoot there way in as The Governor rears the back.  Beth and Maggie stop shooting and run to the bus.  Maggie instructs Beth to get everyone on the bus while she gets Glenn because “we all got jobs to do.”  Oh now they are gonna make me cry, pulling out Hershel’s advice not moments after he died.

When The Governor finally makes it to the gates of the prison, Rick attacks him and starts punching him in the face.  A lot.  It’s awesome.  They engage in fist-a-cuffs for a while and neither of them are in good shape.  Random people from both sides are shot.  Maggie and Glenn get to the bus and find Beth missing.  Beth was going to find Judith, so Maggie leaves to look for Beth.  Daryl is surrounded.  On one side, he has crazy Neo-Governors shooting at him and on the other side he has walkers.  But did anyone really think Daryl would go down like that?  Nope.  He uses one of the walkers as a body shield to be able to approach the real killers and throw a good ole grenade their way.  Bob gets hit by a bullet in the shoulder and just then, the bus takes off.  Sasha says, “We’ll figure it out.”  Clearly, she has missed a bus or two before.  Tyreese is ganged up on by Alisha, who apparently is cool with guys getting their heads chopped off.  He jumps in the garden and BAM, Lizzie and her kid sister are holding guns.

They shot Alisha.  The clearly graduated from Knife School.  They run off and Tyreese tells them to go the other way.

The Governor is now on top of Rick strangling him.  He is inches away from death when:

FUCK YES Michonne!  She skewered him.  She fucking skewered him.  Best female character on TV right now.  And she just watches him writhe in pain.

Rick gets up and goes to look for Carl.  Daryl throws a grenade in Mitch’s tank.  Shit blows up.  Daryl shoots Mitch with an arrow.  Beth runs to Daryl.  She couldn’t find the kids, but Daryl tells her they need to go. Rick yelps for Carl and is then approached by walkers. Carl takes them out and he and his father hug.  They go to look for Judith and instead find a bloodied baby seat.  A little too bloodied to be from somebody picking her up out of the seat, but not too bloodied to have been a plate full of zombie finger food..  It does not look good for Lil Asskicker.  A walker approaches and Carl shoots it too much and then he finally cries. And not just any cry, but a sad, sad cry. Like a Jennifer Lawrence Hunger Games cry.  He and Rick walk away.

As The Governor fights for life, Lilly approaches him and shoots him in the head just as he shot her daughter.  A hoard of walkers enter the prison, one stepping on the white chess piece.  The King is dead.

Rick and Carl are in the hills beyond the prison.  Rick tells his son, “Don’t look back.”

Wowza!  What an episode!  What a way to end!  So many cliffhangers.  The Governor is dead, but the rest of the group is in shambles.  At episode end, Glenn is with the bus, Daryl and Beth are together, Tyreese is alone, Sasha is with Bob, Maggie is alone and Rick and Carl are off in the woods.  Will they all come back together?  Will one of them stumble on Carol?  Will they join up with some of the RVers who feel badly?  The trailers hinted at some more comic book convergence, with Rick sick in the house alone with Carl. Another crazy thing is that Chandler Riggs is a growing boy. All the events in the books that occurred with him as a timid eight-year-old are now taking place with him as a pubescent young man with a deadly trigger finger. And where the hell is Carol?? We have to wait until February.  Oh, man.

Hush Comics gives “Too Far Gone” an A.  It was the best episode of the season thus far, but only because it was so full of action.  We finally have a dead Governor, but Hershel gone.  No more for our one-legged Summer Santa with the wisdom of a farmer.  Until February, fellow Dead Heads.

written by Adrian Puryear