10 Movies that Prove Our Parents Should Never Have Sent Us to Summer Camp

There are plenty of reasons not to send your kids off to camp in this day and age, first and foremost being that I don’t think summer camp exists anymore. But back when I was a kid, summer camp was all the rage. I remember my summers at camp; we did arts and crafts and nature hikes. I got to swim in the lake and eat s’mores before bed almost every night. The only down-side was when my camp, Camp Nightengale, was shut down because a bunch of counselors got extremely high one night and thought Jason Voorhees was real and chasing after them. Two of them drowned in the lake, one girl died in a cabin she set on fire for protection, and one guy impaled himself on a tree branch with his pants down. Of course, there is no such thing as Jason Voorhees; it turned out it was just the original owner of the camp terrorizing people. His wife had died there years ago and he was determined to kill anyone who came near the place she was buried. You probably read about it in the papers…

Just kidding, I lied about all of that. I never went to camp myself. Instead, I used my summers to stay up late watching horribly good scary movies on late night TV. I learned a lot from those summers, partly that nearly every summer camp horror movie follows the same formula, but mostly that I was really glad I was never sent to summer camp. It spared me the opportunity to be slaughtered out in the wilderness because a bunch of horny teenagers wanted to get laid.

I’ve compiled a list off the 10 Best Horror Movies that perfectly explain why if our parents loved us, they should never have sent us to summer camp.


10. Cheerleader Camp (1987)

My my, there sure are a lot of reasons not to send your kids to cheerleading camp – mostly because it’s a camp for cheerleaders. But if you can get past all the rah-rahs and sis-boom-bahs, you’re likely to discover that a camp full of preppy girls in full competition mode may be the scariest place ever. Cheerleader Camp is all about the young ladies who head to camp for the summer, but wouldn’t you know it, a bunch of them starting gruesomely dying as the central character begins to suspect her boyfriend of foul play. Either that or she has multiple personalities.


9. The Burning (1981)

It is important to know that, in horror movies, teenagers are dicks; 9 out of 10 show no remorse for horrible things they’ve done, even if they killed someone. Or at least think they killed someone. Enter The Burning. In this summer camp blood bath a former janitor who was believed to have perished in a fire years earlier returns to the camp he was burned at for revenge. Think I Know What You Did Last Summer meets Friday the 13th.


8. Campfire Tales (1997)

This one is less of a summer camp precautionary tale, and more of a fun anthology of classic urban legends. The stories are being told by some creepy guy who wanders up on a bunch of camping teenagers. I don’t know about you, but if some derelict walked up on me and my friends in the woods and started telling us stories about a bunch of unsuspecting people who were gruesomely murdered, I’d be pretty freaked out. And I’d probably suspect that guy of killing aforementioned people…


7. Summer Camp Nightmare (1987)

This is not your typical summer camp movie. In fact, it’s like nothing else on this list. This movie is scary because it focuses on how dark and fucked up people get when they think they are in control of anarchy. In Summer Camp Nightmare, the kids at the boys’ camp overthrow the strict man in charge, and then take over the girls’ camp. It’s misogynistic and horrifying, and it does not take long before the boys in charge of the camp’s liberation become sick dictators themselves.


6. Camp Slaughter (Camp Daze) (2005)

Camp Slaughter is another unique addition to the list because it is a sci-fi horror crossover. A group of stranded motorists stumble upon a summer camp that appears to be stuck in the 80’s, where the same day repeats itself over and over. It seems they are stuck in a time loop on the very day where the entire camp is slaughtered by some maniacs. Think Groundhog’s Day with a whole lot more blood and gore.


5. Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (2012)

Catholicism is scary enough as it is, but imagine what would happen if a nun called Sister Mary Chopper went crazy on a group of campers to cleanse them of all their evil doings. Now imagine if some people with a sin or two under their belts and lead by a priest return to the camp assuming that same nun is long dead and gone. There stands Bloody Bloody Bible Camp. Beware the axe of God…

*Note: Before anyone gets all uppity about it, I was raised Catholic and therefore can say from experience that shit is scary.


4. Stage Fright (2014)

Full disclosure: This is not a very good movie. Stage Fright takes place at a musical theater camp, and is a lot like Glee except there are sexual favors being traded for lead roles and then people start to die. As a former theater geek, this plot sounds disturbingly feasible. Down side, there’s a lot of singing. Up side, super annoying theater kids die.

**Note: Before anyone gets uppity about this one I was a theater geek and I know damn well some of those kids deserve a punch in the face. I’m pretty sure I was one of them.


3. Friday the 13th (1980)

Some people consider this THE summer camp horror movie. It’s hard not to see it that way; it basically created the genre and paved the way for every other film on this list. Jason Voorhees became an icon, and far too few people remember that Kevin Bacon got murdered while boning. Friday the 13th has basically no character development, so it’s honestly just fun to watch all the idiot teenagers die. Nowadays the bloodbath is funny, but in 1980, when no one was ready for it, this movie scared the shit out of promiscuous teenagers everywhere.


2. Madman (1982)

This is one of my favorites. Sure, it’s still people getting killed at summer camp, but this time it’s by a man called Madman Marz who is similar to the Candy Man or Bloody Mary. He exists somewhere between reality and the supernatural realm and when you summon him he’ll show up and kill you and apparently a bunch of either people because… well, why not? When in Rome, right?


1. Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Sleepaway Camp is still credited as having one of the most shocking endings ever. People are capable of anything, and nothing is ever what it seems. And if you don’t accept those two truths you just might get slashed up at summer camp by the girl you thought you could pick on for for being different.

13 Facts About All Things Friday the 13th

In all honesty Friday the 13th is a date most people either dislike or don’t even notice. I am the exact opposite. Thirteen is my lucky number and I love Friday the 13th! For me it’s a really fun day when I really hope spooky things happen. They rarely do, but I still haven’t given up hope. Just for kicks, here is a list of fun facts and things you never knew about Friday the 13th, courtesy of your friendly neighborhood Scream Queen.

It’s a real fear:

Fear of Friday the 13th is considered a legitimate psychological phobia, and even has a name: paraskevidekatriaphobia, or friggatriskaidekaphobia.

Say What Elvira
Wat you say?

A lot of it is based on Christianity:

People have been afraid of Fridays and thirteens for hundreds of years, and much of that comes from Christian superstition. It was believed that Jesus was crucified on a Friday and that Eve offered Adam the apple on a Friday as well, although I have no idea how anyone came to that conclusion. It’s been AWHILE since I’ve read a bible but I sure don’t remember the part about calendars in the Garden of Eden… People also say that the number thirteen is unlucky because at the last supper Judas was the thirteenth and final member to be seated and then he was a dick and a betrayer.

Dammit, Judas!
Dammit, Judas!

And Norse Mythology:

A similar story appears in Norse mythology, only this time the gods were having a dinner party for twelve and a thirteenth guest showed up uninvited. The unwelcome guest turned out to be Loki and he shot Baldur, the god of joy and happiness.

Yep. He dead.
Yep. He dead.

And Roman, too:

In Roman mythology thirteen is considered unlucky because witches were said to gather in groups of twelve and the thirteenth member was the devil.

Die, Witches! Die!
Die, Witches! Die!

Today’s Friday the 13th smells like Pi:

Today is 3/13/15 which means that tomorrow will be 3/14/15, also known as 3.1415, also known as Pi. That is pretty cool. I bet like a million people get married so that’s their anniversary.

Who ever made this Pi pie is a NEERRRRDDDD!
Who ever made this Pi pie is a NEERRRRDDDD!

It’s pretty rare:

Every year has at least one Friday the thirteenth. If it happens to fall in May, June, or August it will be the only appearance for that year. The last time there were back to back Friday the thirteenths was in February and March was in 2009, and it will not happen again until 2026.

Flying Car
By 2026, we should have flying cars, right?!


There’s a book about it:

The marriage of unlucky Fridays and unlucky thirteens came together in 1907 when Thomas William Lawson wrote the book Friday the 13th about a banker taking advantage of people’s superstitions on ”Wall Street Hoodoo-Day”, whatever the hell that is.

Friday, The Thirteenth

Today is bad for business:

The superstition around Friday the 13th is still so prevalent that there is an estimated $800 to $900 loss in business that day, from people who stay home and avoid their regular routine.

Because of you, no one is at this sad, sad restaurant.
Because of you, no one is at this sad, sad restaurant.

Crystal Lake, Colorado

For all of my local readers, Colorado has its very own Crystal Lake (ya know, like the one in the movie?). There are resorts and hiking trails there and honestly it’s pretty freaking beautiful. Fun fact: Two campers were mysteriously murdered there thirteen years ago. Just kidding, they were only eaten by a bear. Just kidding, none of that ever happened. But there is a Crystal Lake, that part I didn’t make up.

Hey, I didn't attack those guys!
Hey, I didn’t attack those guys!

13th Floor, anyone?:

Since the number thirteen is considered unlucky, there are still a surprising amount of buildings without thirteenth floors, especially in America. It is estimated that 85% of all large buildings with elevators do not have thirteenth floors.

Apparently -1 is better than 13 in this building.
Apparently -1 is better than 13 in this building.

The movies made a hell of a lot of money:

There are twelve movies under the Friday the 13th title, or at least with Jason Voorhees, with an average rating of rating of 5.3 out of 10 stars, and total earnings of $465,239,523.00 worldwide.

Killing you will get me MILLIONS!
Killing you will get me MILLIONS!


But they leave one thing out of the movies:

The movie franchise taking place on Friday the 13th is more coincidence than curse. Excuse me, “death curse”. No one even mentions that it is Friday the 13th; the only acknowledgment comes in the very beginning when the present day date comes up on the bottom of the screen. However, all the onscreen action is supposed to take place in the 24 hour period of June 13, 1980.

Is today Friday or Saturday? I lost my calendar.
Is today Friday or Saturday? I lost my calendar, and no one is talking about it.

Friday the 13th is the Inception of the number 13:

In the 12 movies, Jason has been portrayed by 11 different actors and killed at least 158 people. If you add all those numbers together and divide by 13 you get 13! Seriously! Well, 13.923 but still that is pretty damn cool and I just discovered it on my own. People should know about this! This is a big deal! Spread the word.

So many thirteens it is scary!
So many thirteens it is scary!


Most images used are in the WikiCommons. All images from the movie Friday the 13th belong to Paramount Pictures.


The 25 Horror Movies You Have To Watch THIS Weekend

It’s that time of year: Halloween weekend is upon us! Everything is at the peak of awesome-ness. I know most people love their Jingle Bells and wrapping paper, but I’ll take haunted houses and skulls over that merry crap any day.

All year round I seek out the best of the best (and the worst of the worst) in horror movies and what better time for me to make some recommendations to all you lovely dears out there than Halloween? Now, you must bear in mind that choosing a horror movie is no easy task.

One does not simply choose a horror movie, there are so many different options out there for a person in need of a good scare. Are you looking for blood and guts?

Do you want something psychologically scary? Are you looking for ghosts? Monsters? Zombies? People? Cats? Laugh if you want but at least three movies starring evil cats come to mind (Sleepwalkers, Cat People, Pet Sematary).

Lucky for you, I’ve composed a relatively short list of the best options in five easy categories just in time for our most sacred of holidays. Behold! My top 25 picks for the best of the best movies to watch this Halloween weekend..

First, let’s start with movies that have come out in the last 20 years that are classics in the making AND, in my humble super hard to scare opinion, were either genuinely creepy or downright scary.

Insidious (2010)

James Wan and Leigh Whannell are horror geniuses. Insidious is subtle at the right times and is basically the Poltergiest for our modern generation. This movie stuck with me, when I hear sounds in the night I think of Insidious and go check my son’s room to make sure no red faced demons have come to take him. Also, Tiny Tim’s Tiptoe Through The Tulips is now the creepiest song ever.


The Conjuring (2013)

Based on the true stories of one of demonologist and one my most favorite interesting people ever, Lorraine Warren, The Conjuring is downright chilling. It will make you jump and probably want to sleep with the lights on, as if that would help.

Warner Brothers Entertainment Inc.
Warner Brothers Entertainment Inc.

Paranormal Activity 1 and 2 (2007 and 2010)

I know I’m cheating by doing a two for one, but in my opinion Paranormal Activity 2 is far better than the first, but you have to have the first to get to the second I suppose.

Solana Films
Solana Films

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

If this movie doesn’t scare you you may not have a soul. No offense. This movie changed people and it changed horror movies as we know them. It may be overdone as hell now, but The Blair Witch Project is found footage at its origin and at its best. No lie, after I saw this movie when I was 13 I absolutely stole a butcher knife from our kitchen and slept with it in my room. For a week. And then I started making the creepy little stick people from the movie and leaving them in my sister’s rooms.

Artisan Entertainment
Artisan Entertainment

28 Days Later (2002)

Modern day social commentary by way of a zombie movie. It’s gruesome, it’s dark, and it’s got rage zombies that come at you at full speed.

Fox Searchlight
Fox Searchlight

Second, for you younglings out there, the CLASSICS. I’m not going OLD old school classics here, Frankenstein and Nosferatu are amazing movies but I understand that in this day and age that shit isn’t scary. I still highly recommend you all check out the real classics though, especially if you find yourself with a strange affection for all things horror, like myself.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Yes it came out in 1984 but believe me, this movie is timeless. Freddy Krueger IS the boogie man. Note: Do NOT watch the remake. JUST DON’T DO IT. It tried it’s best to ruin one of the best horror movies of all time and frankly it should burn for it. (Ha! You see what I did there)

New Line Cinema Entertainment Inc.
New Line Cinema Entertainment Inc.

Poltergeist (1982)

This movie redefined haunted houses for a whole new generation and there still haven’t been many movies that compare to it. Also, clown toys will come to life and they will come for you in the night.

Warner Brothers Entertainment Inc.
Warner Brothers Entertainment Inc.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Southern hospitality at its worst, horror and gore at its best.


Hellraiser (1987)

Horrifying. One of the bloodiest and most evil movies to come out of the 80’s. If you like this one you should absolutely check out the sequel, it might be even better. But do yourself a favor and stop there.

Cinemarque Entertainment
Cinemarque Entertainment

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

If you don’t know why this is on the list, I don’t want to know you. Again, no offense.

Market Square Productions
Market Square Productions

Third, here are your underrated movies. You’ve probably never heard of them, and maybe they get a bad rap, but just because they weren’t box office hits doesn’t mean they’re bad.

Dead Silence (2007)

No, this movie is not the greatest, but it isn’t the worst. The acting isn’t great, but it has Ryan Kwanten from True Blood in possibly the only other place we’ll ever see him. It’s got ventriloquist dummies that kill people and honestly tell me someone who isn’t freaked out by those little bastards.

Universal Pictures
Universal Pictures

Altered (2006)

I’d never heard of this movie, my husband and I saw it on Netflix and I said let’s give it a go. It’s well acted, gory, and pretty scary. Granted I have an unhealthy fear of aliens, like seriously unhealthy, like I need therapy, but my husband who is a normal person thought it was creepy too so I say it’s worth a watch.

Rogue Pictures
Rogue Pictures

Carriers (2009)

More suspenseful than it is scary, but it’s absolutely one of the best apocalyptic movies that’s come out that focuses on the people. It may not have the blood and guts, but it’s scary on the psychological level of what the hell happens to people and your family when the world gets wiped out.

Paramount Vantage
Paramount Vantage

Silent Hill (2006)

This movie got horrible reviews but I don’t understand why. You don’t even have to be a fan of the games to like it, it’s just terrifying. Anytime I hear that siren sound my blood runs cold and I wait for pyramid head to come and tear my skin off. Too much?


Splinter (2008)

All I can say is cutting off an arm with a box cutter then using a cinderblock to break the bone and sever the limb. Saw, eat your heart out.

ContentFilm International
ContentFilm International

Fourth, for those of you that love a good laugh with your carnage I give you the awesomely bad category. Most of these are from the 70’s and 80’s and they are so bad they’re AMAZING. These are ideal picks to watch with a group or to have on in the background at a party.

Friday the 13th (so many years…)

Any of them really, but specifically part 2 and part 9. That’s right, PART 9, and that wasn’t even the last one. But I think more people get killed in this one than all the others combined.

Georgetown Productions Inc.
Georgetown Productions Inc.

Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings (1993)

Quite possibly the worst acting I’ve ever seen, but the monster is pretty creepy.

Motion Picture Corporation of America
Motion Picture Corporation of America

976-EVIL (1988)

What happens when a nerd in the 80’s wants to be cool so he calls a random hotline to learn how to be? He becomes a murderous demon, naturally.

Cinetel Films
Cinetel Films

The Howling (1981)

Okay I love this movie so I feel bad putting it in this category, but I know it’s bad. There are so few good werewolf movies…

AVCO Embassy Pictures
AVCO Embassy Pictures

They Live (1988)

Keith David and Rowdy Roddy Piper get in a 30 minute fist fight that starts in an alley and travels from there. It just never stops. I think it’s a good 1/3 of the movie.

Alive Films
Alive Films

And finally, I present to you the wild card, WTF group. These are not what you would expect, but worth the watch. However, enter at your own risk:

The Island of Doctor Moreau (1996 remake)

Seriously so fucking weird it just gives me a gross feeling in my stomach but I love it so much. It’s so freaking weird. And gross.

New Line Cinema
New Line Cinema

Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)

Really, this one is an enter at your own risk kind of thing. This movie is DARK, and sickening to most. It’s on par with A Clockwork Orange, as in its scary because people are far more terrifying than any monster under your bed.

Maijack Productions
Maijack Productions

Bug (2006)

People pulling out their own teeth with pliers to make sure the government can’t spy on them. ‘Nuff said.

Lions Gate Films
Lions Gate Films

The Fly (1986 Remake)

Jeff Goldblum at his finest. The original The Fly is a classic, this one is too in that really gross stomach churning kind of way. Remember hearing as a kid that when flies land on you they throw up acid and then eat the mess? Well picture Jeff Goldblum as a fly monster doing that to a dude. Or don’t. /shudder.

SLM Production Group
SLM Production Group

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

I LOVE this movie, for me it could fit in more than one category. Rob Zombie is a master of the fucked up, and Dr. Satan is freaking horrifying, even if his existence raises A LOT of questions. Besides, Chris Hardwick with his head cut open getting his brain poked at while he’s still alive, you can’t miss!

Spectacle Entertainment Group
Spectacle Entertainment Group

There you are my lovelies, I do hope you’ve enjoyed my list. Now go forth and watch, love the gore, love the horror, and always check under your bed before going to sleep.




Santa Fe Comic Con; Film and Media Guests

Screen Shot 2014-10-10 at 9.02.40 PM

For those of you living in New Mexico or willing to make the commute there for a great convention, Santa Fe Comic Con is quickly approaching (Oct. 24-26)  and they have a great line up ready. From guests like Manu Bennet to events like the Open Wound Film Festival, SFCC plans to be a great closeout event to the convention season. In the next four weeks, we’ll be highlighting events and guest happenings so you spend less time figuring out where and when the best events are and more time actually attending them.

This week, we’re going to focus on the Film and Media guests who will be attending the con. SFCC has a great line up when it comes to this genre, including some really big stars from horror, science fiction, fantasy, action and even musical guests. Here’s a few who we’re really excited for:

Screen Shot 2014-10-10 at 3.30.48 PM


 Manu Bennett

  Manu Bennett is a name that is quickly getting bigger and     bigger in the film industry. He is best known for his roles in   The Hobbit Trilogy, Spartacus and on the TV Show Arrow.     “Manu has been getting called to do so many acting jobs     that he is soon to be out of our reach…” says SFCC. They     urge you to come out and see him this October while you   still can. His panel will be at 4pm on Saturday.

Screen Shot 2014-10-10 at 3.32.06 PM

Naomi Grossman

Naomi Grossman is best known for her role as Pepper on American Horror Story and fans are excited to see her return to the show for American Horror Story; Freak Show. A Santa Fe native, Naomi Grossman returns to the land of enchantment Saturday and Sunday for autographs, photo ops, and to speak with fans. Her panel will be at 2pm on Saturday.

Screen Shot 2014-10-10 at 3.33.28 PM

  Ernie Hudson

  Who you gonna call?! ERNIE HUDSON! Ghostbuster fans       rejoice! Winston Zeddemore will be at SFCC! Best known   for his role in Ghostbusters, Ernie Hudson is a highly               sought after actor in Hollywood. He is also known for his       roles on Heroes, Torchwood, Oz, The Secret Life of an           American Teenager, and The Crow. His panel will be at 5pm   on Saturday. He will also be doing photo ops in front of the   Albuquerque Ghost Busters car! Don’t miss out!

Screen Shot 2014-10-10 at 3.34.29 PM

Ari Lehman

They were warned. They are doomed. And during  Santa Fe Comic Con nothing will save them! That’s right! The original Jason Voorhees actor, Ari Lehman will be joining the line up as well. Best known for Friday the 13th, Lehman also plays in the “Monster Metal” band “First Jason” aptly named after his 1980’s role. His band will be playing at SFCC, date, location, and ticket prices TBA.

Screen Shot 2014-10-10 at 3.35.41 PM 

  Lisa Loring

  She’s creepy and she’s kooky, mysterious and spooky,         she’s all together ooky, Lisa Loring! Best known for her         childhood role as Wednesday Addams and later as Cricket   Montgomery on “As the World Turns”, Lisa Loring will be     attending the convention as well. Schedule TBA.

Screen Shot 2014-10-10 at 3.36.49 PM

Linda Blair

The power of Comic Con compels you! Best known for   her role as Regan in “The Exorcist” and Jane Pascal in “Murder, She Wrote” Golden Globe winner, Linda Blair       is excited to join SFCC. She will be having a Q&A     Saturday at 3pm and Sunday at 2pm. Bring holy water!

As you can see, SFCC has a line up of some amazing guests from the Film and Media industry. Other stars attending the convention include Jenna Lind, Rashaad Santiago, Sarah French, Thomas Churchill, Nakia Burrise, Blake Foster, John Morton, Priscilla Barnes and many more. Don’t miss any of these stars and be sure to buy your tickets for Santa Fe Comic Con here. Tickets for the whole weekend are $35 for adults and $15 for children. VIP tickets are also available starting at $75. Police, Active Military, and Fire Fighters get in for free.

Photos courtesy of Santa Fe Comic Con